when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
