Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
