You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
