I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
