the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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