pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
