garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
