I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
