Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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