Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
