Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Randomize
