i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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