So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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