Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
