I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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