Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
