she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
