so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
