i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
