You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
