Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
