I've blown a few things in my day
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
