I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
