Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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