Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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