ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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