do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
