I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
