Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
