The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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