I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
