I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
