i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
