cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
