Buhtt sex?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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