Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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