That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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