Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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