doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
