And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
