There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
