every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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