dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
