..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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