I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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