This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
