Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
