Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I met the friendliest cop last night
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
