She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
