I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
