you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
